by Mari Ruti
Although we are culturally programmed to view romantic love as the answer to life's difficulties, I think that happiness is rarely love's main goal.
If we expect love to make us happy, we automatically interpret its
setbacks and disappointments as a sign of failure. But what if happiness
is merely one aspect of love's multifaceted mission?
What if love is
more interested in our growth than our happiness? From this perspective,
romantic setbacks and disappointments might actually be more effective
in accomplishing love's aim than its more triumphant moments.
By this I
don't mean to valorize suffering. I'm not saying that we should
purposely court setbacks and disappointments, or that we should be
pleased when these are what our romantic lives deliver. I'm not in the
business of glorifying pain. But there is something to be said for understanding that love may be trying to teach us lessons that have nothing to do with happiness - at least not in any immediate sense.
Read more: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-juicy-bits/201104/is-love-meant-make-us-happy